Just Don't Wear Them

Um. OK, I suppose I should explain the picture. The law enforcement and military equipment experts over at Shomer-Tec have devised a sure-fire way to keep your cash, important documents and valuables safe from thieves either at home, on vacation on in the laundromat. And it doesn't require any locks, keys or combinations. The Brief Safe is a specially made pair of underwear with a velcro compartment for your um, family jewels. The key is the underwear's "special markings" (their words, not mine) that are sure to discourage any thief from rifling through them. So basically they're suggesting that you hide your goods in a pair of tighty whities with skid marks. They're also suggesting that you add Doo Drops for the sake of realism. I really don't want to get into that.