I'm ugly. You're fat. Let's get married.

Ok so everyone has heard of Craigslist, the low-tech, community-based site for classified ads and message boards and other things that defy classification, but I believe most people have missed a little gem tucked away on the bottom left of the Craigslist homepage. It's called Best of Craigslist and it's a compilation of the funniest, most well-written posts on the entire site as voted by readers. Needless to say, there's some funny shit on there. Any time I come across anything hilarious, I'll pass it on. This guy gives an elaborate argument (including graphs and pie-charts) as to why he is the perfect (and only) guy for you. Another girl's post is called I'm ugly. You're fat. Let's get married. She writes:

Let's just cut to the chase. I'm desperate, and only getting lonelier by the day. And you - you may pretend that you're "playing the field", or "sowing the seeds" of your youth, but really, you haven't seen any action since high school. Let's just resign to our fate and get tied down - together. i don't need a real soulmate, just someone to fight with over the phone. promise to call me on my birthday and christmas and valentine's day, only to cancel the plans we made or bitch me out for gaining weight or tell me you secretly think about sleeping with my sister. please, let's just ruin each other's lives already. i know how to dig deep and push buttons, and bring up your weaknesses by highlighting your best friend's strengths. let me degrade you in front of your co-workers, i'll have sex with your boss! so, write back if you seek an emotionless existence with someone you'll detest the sight of more and more each day forever.

Nuff said.